One Weird Magic Show

One Weird Magic Show


By Bryn Ensomhet


Rating: G
Disclaimer: I have no association with Fox Kids, USA Studios, and whatever else in charge of Young Hercules. I am making no money from this story.
Summary: A Young Hercules ABC story.
Timeline: Post corination
Author's Note: An ABC story is a story written with 26 sentences, each one starting with the next letter of the alphabet.
The Challenge: Write a fanfiction (any show/movie/whatever you choose) where the author actually talks to the character. Include the author however you want. It can be a Mary Sue, an ABH, or even something along the lines of the great Buffy fic about flaming sticks where the author is a sort of disembodied voice. Your goal in this fic is the have the author reveal to the characters that he/she is a fan of their particular universe, and have the characters begin to propose names for fans of their universe.

The author looked around herself in wonder. She was standing on a table, overlooking a very large room filled to the brim with teenage boys cheering and yelling, a short blond girl with a pixie-like hair cut, a very surprised man in magician-like clothing, and a centaur standing in the back of the crowd. "A centaur?!?" she exclaimed mentally.

Only a few moments ago she had been sitting in her grandmother's dimly lit basement, working on a story her friends had challenged her to write. A slight breeze ticked the gauzy material on her hip and she looked down in silent horror at the Leia-gold bikini combo that had been jeans and an oversized sweatshirt only a minute ago. Even without looking in a mirror, she knew that she was a tall exotic beauty with deep brownish-green hair that would come all the way to her ankles, the perfect picture of Melvin's tamed wood nymph assistant.

"What the hell..." she whispered, recognizing faces in the crowd. Over on the right was Ryan Gosling, looking smashing in his 'Hercules' ensemble. Clustered by him was Dean O'Gorman (a yummy Iolaus), Chris Conrad (being a delectable Jason), and the girl with the blond hair who played Lilith (Jodie....uh..Rimmer? or something like that). The Centaur in the back was Cheiron, and the funky surprised guy standing at the edge of the table was Melvin the Magnificent, supposedly a traveling ex-court jester, but she had been writing a surprise in the fan fic that would knock her friends' socks off. "What was that typewriter made out of?" she wondered as her eyes scanned the crowd, searching the faces. She had been writing a scene just like this on the typewriter, where the bad guy pretends to be Melvin and does a magic show in the Academy, but his appearing woman spell actually works and the woman identifies him as the bad guy and calls out to the good guy for help. But another idea had been brewing in the back of her mind that she hadn't worked out yet.

Ah hah. There they were, Strife and Discord, giggling and hiding in the back corner just like she had been thinking, but had not had a chance to write in yet. Trying to choose between the written and the unwritten plots, she decided to act her part. "Hercules!" she cried, working on her damsel-in-distress act, "Help me!"

Hercules shook his head in confusion while the rest of the cadets laughed, thinking this was all a pre-planned act. Giving up hope on that plotline, she tried to go to the fake magician and reveal him, but her legs wouldn't obey her. *Of course* she realized, *I can't reveal him now. That wasn't in the story!* Frustrated, she looked down and noticed a small book and a pen on the table near her feet. She leaned down and grabbed it. Flipping through the pages, she realized that the book is the story she was just writing. Finding the part where the woman reveals the jester to be some miscellaneous bad guy, she crosses it out and scribbles in the other ending she had been working on. She's about to close the book when another idea struck her. Scribbling in another note, she closed the book. In a flash of blue light that no one except Hercules and the fake jester seem to see, the Leia bikini disappears, and she is now wearing a much more modest dark green halter top and black jeans. Realizing that she can move again, she stalked over to the edge of the table, yanked the fake mustache of Melvin, and shouted at Hercules, "For crying out loud. It's Lucious, you dummy. Your half-brother, here to kill you!" She smiled smugly as Hercules and his friends gave a start, and then raced over towards the table while Lucious turned around and ran out the back way. She shook her head, loving yet hating it when her story lines work out.

She quickly turned to see if Strife or Discord were still there, but they had already disappeared. Recalling the next few events that were to transpire, the author perched on the edge of the table and waited for the questions to start.

"All the cadets outside the training room, except for Hercules, Jason, Iolaus, and Lilith!" Cheiron shouted.

"What...who...?" Hercules stuttered, coming to a stop near the table. The author rolled her eyes to herself. Sure, she had written this, but it really made innocent Herc sound like a dork. Something to change when she got home. If she ever got home.

The centaur came to the front of the room. "Who are you?" Cheiron demanded.

She shrugged, "I'm an author. I write fan fiction."

"Fan fiction?" Herc asked.

"Yes. Where I come from, you and your friends are all characters in a
television show and books based on that show, called 'Young Hercules'. I'm a big fan."

"How come it's not 'Young Iolaus'?" Iolaus muttered.

"What's a 'Television show'? And what's a book?" Lilith wondered aloud.

"A television show is like a..." she tries to explain, "...a play. And a book is usually a story written on several sheets of parchment bound together." she showed them the book she was holding. "Everything that just happened was part of a fanfic I was writing."

"You mean, everything that happens to us is because somebody wrote it that way?" Cheiron asked in disbelief.

"Well," she replied, "It's loosely based on Greek myths, but yeah. That's the gist."

"So what's going to happen next, if you're writing this story?" Hercules asked.

She smiled mischievously, "What do you want to happen?" she open the book and started writing in it. A blue light flashed behind the cadets, and Ares appeared, looking confused. Two more blue lights flashed, and Jason and Lilith disappeared, reappearing in the darkened corner of the room. She kept writing, and Lilith pounced on Jason, and the two began making out. Hercules looked horrified, his gaze switching from his half brother to his two liplocked friends. *always wanted that to happen* the author grinned.

By now Ares had pulled himself together and had begun firing energy bolts, which Hercules, Cheiron, and Iolaus were dodging. *What if I can only get sent back to my world if Ares kills me?* the thought hit her. *Why didn't I think of that sooner?*

Ares had scored a few hits on Hercules, and the demigod was lying on the floor breathing hard. The God of War slowly walked up to his half-brother and prepared a really big energy ball. "I almost don't care that I'll be going to Tatarus after you die." he said.

"No!" the author yelled according to the passage she just wrote, and ran over to the godly pair. Ares didn't pay her any attention until she dived in front of him, intercepting the fatal energy blast meant for Herc.

The demigod realized that the girl was dying, and turned anguished eyes to his half brother. "I'll get you for this." he whispered, his voice full of pain. Ares just laughed and disappeared. Hercules crawled over to the girl and held her in his arms.

"Kiss me." the girl asked in a weakened voice. Hercules leaned over and just as their lips were about to meet...


...the author opened her eyes and took in the darkened basement she was sitting in and the typewriter in front of her. "Noooo!!!!!" she growled. She had been so close to kissing Herc!

She sighed, accepting her fate. Pulling the typewriter to her, she finished writing the fanfiction.


...and the girl disappeared in Hercules' arms. Iolaus walked up to his best friend. "Why?" Hercules cried in an anguished voice, "Why did another person have to die because of me?"

"Cheer up Herc." Iolaus said, pulling his friend to his feet, "I'm sure she wanted to die this way."

Hercules looked disbelievingly at his friend, "How would you know?"

Iolaus told him, "She was writing this story."

The sadness left Hercules' features. "Oh yeah."

Iolaus grinned. "Come on. Let's go separate the lovebirds over there." He motioned to Lilith and Jason who had been reaching second base when the girl died and the spell broke, and now were blinking and trying to figure out what had happened.

Hercules followed him. "That was one weird magic show."

~~~~~~~
The End... hehe...

AN: Okay, so it didn't exactly follow the rules for the challenge but oh well. Sorry.


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