Scene: 1
Twanky turned to walk out of the cafe in disgust. "Humph! The nerve of some people. How rude!"
She swung open the door and slammed smack dab into Joel as he was walking into the cafe. She hit him with such force that she pushed him back out the door and onto the sidewalk, knocking him to the ground and landing on top of him.
"Well, I never!" Twanky said after she had stopped falling. "Get your hands off me, you brute!"
"Hey lady, I'd love too, but you weigh a ton," Joel quipped back at her. "Now, if you don't mind, would you please get off of me before you break something I'm gonna need?"
Twanky slapped him and pushed herself up onto her own two feet. Joel scrambled to his feet too, just in time for Twanky to slap him again for good measure.
"Would you stop doing that?" Joel put his hands up to ward off her blows.
"If you would learn to behave yourself around a lady, then I wouldn't have to resort to such beastly measures," Twanky retorted as she finally looked up at the man in front of her. "Oh my dear, Joel? Is that you?"
"That's Mr. Joel to you!" Joel snapped back. "More commonly referred to as Joel the Mystic, Seer of the Unseen and Conjurer of the Undead!"
"Joel dear, it's me, you're Aunt Twanky!" Twanky responded. "You remember me, don't you?"
"Boy, my Uncle must have really been drinking hard the night he met you then," Joel mumbled.
"What was that dear?" Twanky inquired.
"Um, I said of course, I have been thinking hard since the night I met you," Joel recovered. "I could never forget a face such as yours Twanky."
"Oh good! I knew you would remember me," Twanky beamed. "I've been meaning to get in touch with you. We need to do another seance."
"Another seance? Your ghost friend didn't exactly say a lot the first time we met. What makes you think he will say more next time?" Joel inquired.
"Just call it intuition, my dear," Twanky replied. "You're not the only one around here with a sixth sense about things, you know. I have been known to predict an event or two in my day."
"Yes, of course you have," Joel replied a bit sarcastically. "When were you thinking of having this next seance?"
"Tomorrow night. Will you come?" Twanky asked.
"Oh all right, but this time we do things my way from start to finish, got that?" Joel answered.
"Oh, all right, if you must be so stubborn. I'll see you tomorrow night!" Twanky called out as she walked away.
As soon as she was out of sight a big smile appeared on Joel's face. He turned and walked to the corner where Meighan was waiting for him.
"Well," she purred, "did you do it? Did you get yourself invited to another seance?"
"Of course I did," Joel snickered. "I'm not a total screw up ya know."
"I know you aren't dear," Meighan wrapped her arms around Joel's neck, "it's just that I want to make sure you don't get your Uncle Kevin mad at you again."
"Why'd you have to go and bring him up for? You totally ruined the mood," Joel frowned.
"Don't worry about that," she responded, "I have ways of raising your mood, if you catch my drift."
"Ooh," a big grin appeared on Joel's face, "I like the sound of that."
"Come along then," Meighan said as she pulled herself closer to him, "I think it's time you took me home."
Scene: 2
It was a sunny day and Shannon was taking advantage of it. She was sitting on a park bench, filing her nails when suddenly Ryan sat down beside her and put his arms around her.
"Don't touch me." Shannon said and pulled away.
"What? What's going on, why are you acting weird?" Ryan asked confused.
Shannon went back to filing her nails.
"Hello, earth to Shannon". Ryan waved his hand in front of her face.
"Leave me alone." She answered sternly.
"Ok I'm really confused!" Ryan replied.
Shannon stopped filing her nails and looked at him. "Hmmm, let's see. Her name was Alexis I believe?"
"Alexis?" Ryan said surprised. "No we were just--"
"You were on a date with her." Shannon finished for him.
"No I wasn't." Ryan answered very seriously.
"Whatever. Don't play innocent with me you liar." Shannon snapped.
"What did you call me?" Ryan said angrily.
"You heard me. I called you a liar. Why? Because you are." Shannon snapped back.
"I thought there was something special between us. I can't believe you don't trust me!" Ryan exclaimed very upset.
"Well Dean said--" Shannon started to explain.
"Well maybe you should be with him then since you believe everything he says." Ryan interrupted and got up.
"What? No, Ryan I--" Shannon realized that she had pushed this too far.
"No!?" Shannon was shocked to hear Dean's voice and turned to see him standing there.
"I mean--" She said trying to get out of it.
"Maybe Chris is right about you." Ryan responded.
"No he's not. I really care about you Ryan." Shannon pleaded
"Um hello? Remember me? The guy you were with last night?" Dean announced.
"You were *with* him?" Ryan screamed.
"No, not like that!" Shannon said frantically.
"I'm outta here. Dean, you can have her." Ryan said as he walked away.
"Ryan!" Shannon screamed after him. Then she saw Dean glaring at her.
"Um..." She didn't know what to say.
"You know what I think you are?" Dean said with anger in his voice but then stopped. "No, never mind, girls like you aren't worth it." He said and walked away.
Shannon just sat there and felt the tears well up in her eyes.
Scene: 3
Alfalfa had the most uncomfortable feeling of being watched, but he was too lazy to open his eyes to find out who was staring at him. Working for Lilith had always been tiring, and now that she left him here to the mere task of babysitting her arch nemesis, Bruce, he had decided to make the most of it and get some long, overdue sleep.
But as he sat there with his eyes closed, he started feeling even more unpleasant, almost pain really. Suddenly he realized that his wrists hurt and he was having trouble moving his arms. His mouth felt dry and tasted like a dirty rag. He tried to yawn, but found he was quite unable to open his mouth. Suddenly Alfalfa opened his eyes only to find that the couch Bruce had been left tied up on was empty and instead it was himself who was bound and gagged to his chair. He tried to turn around to take in his surroundings, but the ropes that held him kept him from turning even the slightest bit. He tried to yell but all that he could hear were his own muffled screams.
Slowly Bruce walked into his sight, carrying the same frying pan that Lilith had clocked him over the head with in his right hand. He stared at it and then looked at Alfalfa. "Such a shame, isn't it Sprouts, my boy?" Bruce gave him an evil grin, "Such a shame that Lilith tried to betray me. We made a good team, her and I, and it hurts me that she can't see that."
Bruce walked towards Alfalfa and stopped right in front of him. Suddenly he ripped the tape off of Alfalfa's mouth.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!" Alfalfa screamed as he felt what little hair he had on his upper lip being torn out at the roots.
Bruce laughed. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Sprouts?"
Alfalfa just stared at him in silence and finally said, "That's Alfalfa, you moron."
"Oh, I'm a moron?" Bruce questioned. "I'm not the one tied up in that chair. Nor am I the one who couldn't even accomplish the simple task of guarding an unconscious man left tied up and helpless on his couch. So tell me, which one of us is the moron?"
"You're nothing but a coward Bruce." Alfalfa hissed. "You always have been, and you always will be. You too scared to do your own dirty work, so you try to make Lilith do it instead."
"Surely you jest, Sprouts." Bruce said. "She'd owed me a favor and I came to collect, that's all."
"That's Alfalfa to you." Alfalfa retorted. "And now that she has the evidence to ruin you, you won't be able to blackmail her into helping you anymore, will you?"
"It's whatever I want it to be Sprout man," Bruce sounded angrily. "You do bring up a good point, however. She took that paperwork with her and that will be a highly effective deterrent to her helping me out. But fortunately, I have a back up plan."
"And what kind of harebrained scheme would that be?" Alfalfa asked.
"You'd better pack an extra pair of underwear, Sprouts my boy, cause you're coming with me."
"Coming with you?! I will do no such thing!" Alfalfa screamed.
"Yes you will, my boy," Bruce grinned. "I need something to keep Lilith on her best behavior, and you're it."
"I'll never go with you quietly," Alfalfa responded coldly.
"Hmmm, you're right again," Bruce agreed as he walked behind Alfalfa. "I can't have you kicking and screaming like a baby when I carry you out of here. You see, that kind of behavior might tip off the neighbors. So, I guess I'm just gonna have to compromise."
Bruce grinned as he slammed the frying pan across Alfalfa's head and Alfalfa plunged into unconsciousness.
Scene: 4
Nicole was relaxing on the couch when Shannon opened up the front door. Before Nicole could even open her mouth to say hello, Shannon had slammed the door and stomped down the hall in the direction of her bedroom. It was obvious she was terribly upset over something and when Shannon was in that kind of mood, Nicole knew it was best to leave her alone. But she also realized from her recent experience with Chris that it wasn't good to hold such feelings in either.
"I guess I should go and find out what's going on," Nicole mused as she got up off the couch. She headed for the door at the end of the hall and knocked quietly. "Shannon, are you okay?"
"Go away!" Shannon shouted through the door. "I don't want to talk to you right now."
"Please Shannon," Nicole pleaded, "talk to me."
There was silence on the other side of the door. Finally Shannon spoke, "The door is open."
Nicole slowly opened the door and saw Shannon sitting on the edge of her bed and hugging her teddy bear as she often did when something upset her. "Shannon, what happened?"
"Dean, he..." Shannon started, "And then Ryan..., Ugh!! I'm so mad I could just scream."
"Shannon, you're not making any sense." Nicole replied.
"Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand," Shannon retorted. "You're life is so perfect."
"My life is far from perfect Shannon," Nicole responded. "You should know that better than anyone."
"Yeah right." Shannon snapped. "You got Chris. He's only the sweetest and hottest looking guy on the planet. He only has eyes for you, so you won, all right? You showed me up yet again."
"I'm sorry you feel that way Shannon, but I didn't realize we were having a contest." Nicole replied coolly. "Besides, I thought you were too busy flirting with Dean and Ryan to care whether or not Chris and I got together."
Shannon sat in silence once more as Nicole's comment lingered in the air. She clenched her teeth as she fought back tears. "Well, I don't think either one is serious about me."
"Are you kidding? Chris says you have them at each others throat over you. He thinks that they are going to lose their friendship because of the way you act around them." Nicole quipped while at the same moment realizing she shouldn't have. "I'm sorry, Shannon, I shouldn't have said that."
Shannon glared at her sister as her face turned red. She looked like she was going to yell, but instead she took a deep breath and stared at the wall. "No. You're right. I've been trying to get their attention, but it seems each time I get one of them to turn their head in my direction, another woman walks in the picture. I thought it would be fun if I had two guys liking me, but I was wrong. I can't even handle one guy, what makes me think I can handle two?"
"That's not true." Nicole countered. "You will make one man a fine girlfriend, Shannon, but you need to choose which one you want."
"Maybe I just tried to jump into a relationship too soon. I'm sorry about how I acted." Shannon spoke quietly. "Do you think you could leave me alone for a while? I really need some time to think."
"Of course," Nicole hugged her sister and then headed for the door. "You really are a good person Shannon. I'm glad we could have this talk."
As soon as the door shut, Shannon picked up her teddy bear and threw him against the wall in her frustration. "You're a good person Shannon. I'm glad we could have this talk Shannon!" She spoke mockingly. "Could you be any more condescending, Nicole?"
Shannon walked over and retrieved her teddy bear. "I'm sorry Teddy, I didn't mean to hurt you. You are the only one around here who seems to understand me anymore. But I'll show Nicole and that perfect life of hers. She won't get the better of me. By this time next week, I'll have made her life as miserable as mine is right now. Her and Chris will be history and me and Chris will be fact."
Scene: 5
"HELP!" Willard ran into Alexandra's Anecdote's in a panic.
"Ex-squeeze me?" Alexandra looked at him confused.
"She didn't drink it, she didn't..." Willard was gasping for breath.
"Calm down honey!" Alexandra exclaimed.
Willard closed his eyes and got himself together. "This woman...she's after me!"
"Alright!" Alexandra said with a huge grin. "I told you I was good!"
"No, you don't understand! The wrong woman drank the potion." Willard screamed.
"Oh. Well can't you like tell her to surf on or something?" Alexandra inquired.
"NO! Nothing works! I'm afraid any minute she'll walk in this door. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!"
Willard got down on his hands and knees and begged.
"Ok, ok! Dude take some Ridilin!" Alexandra yelled.
"So you'll help me?" Willard looked up at her."
"Yeah just like get off my floor." She said looking at him and shook her head in disgust. "
"ACK! I think she's coming! I must hide!" Willard scurried to the back.
"Ewww, I hate dirty men!" Alexandra said out loud to herself.
Just then Hudson entered the shop. She had followed Willard to the shop, the potion had a definite strong effect on her!
"Excuse me." She said to Alexandra. "But has a man come in here recently? Tall, dark, handsome, you don't want to take your eyes off him?"
"No handsome men came in here sweetie. If they had believe me I would have noticed!" Alexandra laughed.
"I was sure he had." Hudson said disappointed. "Well if you see him would you give him a message?"
"UM ok." Alexandra answered.
"Let's cut the chit chat and just do it." Hudson laughed.
"Like not cool but ok!" Alexandra said and walked into the back where she found Willard huddled in a corner, under a table. She looked at him and "Okay lover boy, you can come out now. She's gone."
Willard poked his head out from under the table he was hiding under as if he didn't believe her. When he saw the coast was clear he stood up and smiled, "Thanks. You're a real life saver. I could just kiss you!"
"Ewww....no. If you want to thank me, you can go home and take a shower or something." Alexandra said as she held her nose.
"Uh, okay." Willard muttered. He started for the front of the shop when he stopped dead in his tracks. "Hey, is there a back exit to this shop?"
"Like totally." Alexandra said pointing to a door. "It's over there."
"Thanks again." Willard called out as he opened the door.
"Boy that woman is gone if she finds that guy attractive." Alexandra mused. "We've definitely got to get things straight on her side of the vortex!"
Scene: 6
"It's just not fair!" Shannon moaned as she lay back on her bed and hugged her teddy bear. "It's just not."
"Well death ain't so fair either," said a male voice in the corner of the room.
Shannon shot straight up on her bed and looked around her room for the source of that voice. As she turned to the corner near her bookcase, she saw the ghostly figure of her Uncle Sal sitting in a chair and staring at her.
"Uncle Sal? But you're, you're..." Shannon started to scream but was interrupted.
"Quit with the screamin', will ya?" Sal said as he pointed to his ears. "I may be dead, but I've still got very sensitive ear, ya know?"
"But, but....if you're dead, then how...I mean, why..." Shannon started but found it tough to speak.
"The living! Always asking questions, aren't you?" Sal answered. "Why are you never satisfied with things as they are?"
"Don't you find it a little strange that I'm sitting here talking the ghost of my dead Uncle?" Shannon asked, finally finding her voice. "Cause I sure do."
"Look, I'm dead. I'll give you that much. But it's so boring on the other side. Have you ever tried to sit in a room with a bunch of dead people? It's just not my idea of a good time," Sal replied. "Just between you and me, being dead stinks! Sometimes I just have to sneak out."
"You sneak out of Heaven?" Shannon asked shocked.
"Who said anything about Heaven?" Sal countered.
"You mean you went to..." Shannon stared at him in disbelief.
"I didn't say anything about being there either." Sal interupted. "All I'm saying is that it's just one big waiting room with nothing to do all day but play checkers with a bunch of old, weird, dead guys."
"So you just come back here to scare the living daylights out of me whenever you feel like it?" Shannon asked.
"I suppose I could have taken up a number of other hobbies, like knitting or scuba diving, but somehow those didn't have the same appeal as scaring my favorite neice to death," Sal said sarcastically. "At least that way I'd have some decent company around here."
"Gee, thanks." Shannon replied. "But if you're so bored all the time, why didn't you stay longer at the seance? There were a lot of people there who wanted to talk to you."
"Ah! Don't talk to me about seances. Those things give me an absolute headache." Sal complained. "All that humming and those stupid candles? I mean do they always have to do them in the dark?"
"So, why are you here?" Shannon asked completely at ease now.
"My spirit has been at unrest for a while now," Sal replied. "You see, I think I was murdered."