My Hercules (to the tune of Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing")

I want my Hercules....

Now look at them half-gods, that's the way you do it
You hang out with Gosling on Young Hercules
That ain't bad ratings- that's the way you do it
Your sidekick gets nothin' and your chicks for free
Now that ain't Cheiron- that's Strife in disguise
Lemme tell ya them guys sure are dumb
Maybe get in trouble with big daddy Zeus, now
Maybe Ares disguised as some poor bum

We've got complaints rollin' into Fox Kids, now
"Give Us Gosling!" the girlies all scream
We gotta move these other bad shows around
We gotta move these to fit in Young Hercules

See the little Iolaus in the leather and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That little sidekick got his own fan fiction
That little sidekick does kicks in midair

We gotta install more scans of Chris Conrad
Custom Windows deliveries
We gotta cancel Spiderman and
We gotta make more Young Hercules...

I shoulda been born in Ancient Greece
I shoulda worked at Kora's Inn
Look at that mama, she got a half-god son in the Academy
Man we could really rake it in (...money....)
And she's up there, what's that? Amazon noises?
Bangin' on the war drum like a chimpanzee
That ain't fightin' that's the way you do it
When your sidekick gets nothin' and you get your chicks for free

We gotta make posters of Dean and Ryan
Really glossy, to bring the teenyboppers to their knees
We gotta make another season
We gotta bring back Young Hercules, Lord

Now that ain't a bad show that's the way you do it
You play the half-god on Young Hercules
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Your sidekick gets nothin' ,you get your chicks for free
Plenty of lovin'....when you're Hercules......

I want my Hercules...